Built To Be Broken: Why Empaths Are Targeted By Abusers And How To Heal The Wounds That Made You Vulnerable — The Book I Wrote For The Version Of Me That Didn't Understand Why

There is something I have never said in any public post about this book.

I have shown you the cover. I have shared the tagline. I have talked about empaths and abusers and healing. But I have not told you the real reason I wrote it. The reason I only admitted to myself in the quiet moments when I was being completely honest.

Built To Be Broken is the book I wrote for the version of me that did not understand why.

Not why she did what she did. I understood that eventually. Abusers follow patterns. They are predictable once you know what you are looking for. But that was not the question that kept me awake.

The question was why me. Why again. What was it about the way I was built that kept putting me in the same place, with different people, experiencing the same pain in different clothes.

The wrong questions

For years I asked the wrong questions. Why did I not leave sooner? Why did I not see it coming? What was wrong with me?

Those questions all have something in common. They assume the problem was with me. And they are not just unhelpful. They are the questions abusers want you to ask. Because as long as you are blaming yourself, you are not looking at them.

The right question is different.

Why was I chosen?

What was it about the empathy, the need to fix things, the belief that love meant sacrifice, the wounds I carried from long before I ever met her, that made me visible to someone looking for exactly that?

When I finally found the answer, it did not shame me.

It set me free.

What this book actually is

Built To Be Broken is not a book about what abuse looks like. I have written that book. Several times. This one goes underneath it.

Into the part of you that kept ending up there and could not understand why. Into the attachment wounds and the people-pleasing and the empathy that felt like your greatest gift until someone decided to use it as a weapon.

The full title is Built To Be Broken: Why Empaths Are Targeted By Abusers And How To Heal The Wounds That Made You Vulnerable.

That subtitle is the whole book in one sentence.

Empaths are not weak. They are not broken. But they carry wounds from early in life that certain people are extraordinarily skilled at finding. The sensitivity that makes you compassionate. The need to see the best in people. The belief that if you just love someone hard enough you can fix them. The difficulty saying no. The way you absorb other people's emotions as if they were your own.

These are not flaws. They are beautiful qualities. But they are also a map that certain types of people know how to read.

What you will find inside

The book is built around four pillars. Understanding the pattern — why empaths are targeted and what abusers are actually looking for. Decoding the tactics — love bombing, trauma bonding, coercive control, and how they work on people like you specifically. Healing the wounds — practical tools to break the cycle, including journal prompts in every chapter. And reclaiming your empathy — turning what was used against you back into the gift it was always meant to be.

The research is in it. The lived experience is in it. The honesty is in it. And the path forward is in it.

I wrote this as a survivor. I wrote it as someone who has spoken to thousands of people going through exactly this. I wrote it as an Amazon bestselling author who has spent years studying the patterns, the psychology, and the damage. And I wrote it as someone who finally understood why — and needed to share that understanding with everyone still asking the wrong questions.

Who this book is for

If you have always given more than you received. If you have always seen the best in people even when they showed you the worst. If you have ended a relationship and found yourself wondering how you ended up there again. If you have ever been told you are too sensitive, too forgiving, too much. If you carry wounds from early in your life that you have never fully understood.

This book was written for you.

It was also written for the people who love someone like that. The friends and family members who watch someone they care about walk back into the same pain and do not know how to help. Understanding why empaths are targeted is the first step to breaking the cycle — for yourself and for the people around you.

Get your copy

Built To Be Broken launches on Wednesday 10 June 2026 on Amazon.

Pre-order your copy now: amazon.co.uk/dp/B0GZMY9HD6

Signed and personally dedicated copies will be available directly from the author at jaredwhitaker.com from launch day.

If you have already pre-ordered — thank you. You were part of this before it existed in the world.